Ter overdenking:

The trouble with work is... it's so daily.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
I used to be a musician, but I wasn't noteworthy.
At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
I wanted to be a chef, figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill.

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.
There can't be a crisis today, my schedule is already full.
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
The first 90% of project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.
"Hard work spotlights the character of people; some turn up their sleeves," some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all!
After the government takes enough to balance the budget, the taxpayer has the job of budgeting the balance.
I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
Somedays it's just not worth chewing through the restraints...
I love my work, I could sit and watch it all day long.
I used to be a doctor, but I didn't have the patients.
I have no axe to grind, but I have an ivory letter opener that could use some sharpening.
If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
To err is human, to forgive is Not Company Policy.
If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
The really efficient laborer will be found not to crowd his day with work, but will saunter to his task surrounded by a wide halo of ease and leisure. - Henry David Thoreau
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Not only do I not know what's going on, but I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me. - Ashleigh Brilliant
Price. Quality. Service: Pick two.
I owe! I owe! So off to work I go!
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they pissed me off - Anon.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
If at first you don't succeed, give up, no use being a damn fool.
DEAR IRS, Please cancel my subscription.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
The world is full of willing people -- some willing to work and some willing to let them. - Robert Frost.
After all is said and done, more is said than done.
Note on a door: Out to lunch... if not back by five, out for dinner also.
Notice: The only person getting his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.
People who do the world's real work don't usually wear neckties.
Quote from the Boss: I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you.
I used to work in a muffler factory, until I got exhausted.
"Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings; they did it by killing all those who opposed them."
I may take your call and sound like I am smiling but you have no idea what I am doing on my end... like laughing at your account balance?
Quitters never win, and winners never quit, but those who never quit AND never win are idiots.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
Granted, Mr Wheeler's ideas are stupid and unreasonable, but he does own the company andI think we should go along with him...
They say that you are put on earth to accomplish a certain amount of things. Right now I am so far behind... I'll never die...
One of the greatest labour saving inventions of today is tomorrow. - Vincent T. Foss
Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
Everytime I think I've hit the bottom, someone lends me a shovel.
Hard work never killed anyone, but why give it a chance?
They can't fire me, slaves have to be sold.
Illegitmitatum Non Carborundum Est - Never let the bastards grind you down!
"I love the ""swooshing"" sound deadlines make as they go by."
Man is the only species on the face of the earth that will work so hard to be lazy.
Please do not inquire as to the apparent inefficiency of my work. The nature of it requires such a high degree of secrecy that I am not permitted to know what I am doing!
The best part about procrastination is that you are never bored, because you have all kinds of things that you should be doing.
Inasmuch as the earth is 2/3 water and 1/3 land, it is clear that our time should be divided. 2/3 fishing and 1/3 work.
If you're the low man on the totem pole, just remember that if it wasn't for you the damn thing would fall over.
Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like a slacker.
The only problem with mornings is that they happen too early in the day.
REAL procrastination is watching a hungry bear walk up to you while having a picnic, and not running because hey, you've got the rest of your life.
"'The harder I work, the luckier I get.' Thomas Edison;
It takes one tree to make 10,000 matches, but one match to burn 10,000 trees.
Having sex with our staff ensures quicker service.
A morning without coffee is like something without something else.
A person who can't lead and won't follow makes a dandy roadblock.
A child of five could understand this! Fetch me a child of five!
A company is known by the people it keeps.
The trouble with doing something right the first time, is nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
"""That's Bill for ya, always sharpening his sleeping skills..."""
the old Klingon proverb: Fool me once, shame on you: fool me twice, prepare to die.
Reality is for people who can't handle Star Trek.
Tired of your clothes sticking to you like glue? Use statis stopper for klingons!
You've just had a heavy day commanding a starship. You've fought Klingons off the starboard bow, kept your ship from being blown up many times, and you're exhausted! Now comes LOGtime. You deserve more than just LOG, you deserve CAPTAIN'S LOG! WHAT is your name? 'Captain Jean-Luc Picard'. WHAT is your quest? 'I seek the Holy Grail'WHAT is the average velocity of a Bird of Prey?
Romulan or Klingon? I... I don't know AAAAAHHHHH!
Star trekkin' across the Universe, boldly going forward 'cuz we can't find reverse!
A tribble a day keeps the Klingons well fed.
All right who's been cooking hot dogs in the Warp Drive?
Beat me, whip me, make me write Tribble taglines.
Beverly can turn Data off but only Tasha can turn him on.
Blonde Klingons: Because it was a good day to dye!
Captain, why not just give the Borg Windows? - Worf
Excuse me, do you mind if I squish in here? - Odo
Mr. Worf, scan that ship. - Aye Captain. 300 dpi?
<-*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*--- Tribble & onion kabob.
And the only thing the Borg left was this Macintosh...
Borg-Cola: Not the choice of The Next Generation.
BorgDOS 5.0: Assimilate another (Y/N)?
Borger King: Have it our way, your way is irrelevant.
Clinton Borg Inhaling is irrelevant.
Cloak captioned for the Romulan impaired.
Distance is irrelevant - Pythagoras of Borg
Ensign Singer... Make it sew.
Ensign Walnut approaches Dr. Crusher with caution...
Hey, Worf! I hooked Data up to a Modem... wanna see?
How come I can never find Troi when I'm mad at her?
I am Fudd of Borg. Wesistance is usewess!
I am Homer of Borg. Prepare to be ...ooooh donuts!
I am Bugs Bunny of Borg. What's up, Collective?
How do I set my Laser printer to 'Stun'?
I can't believe it. I've heard of this disease. - Beverly
I said Crusher, NOT Crush her! - Worf to his brother Kurn.
Jean-Luc Picard and Mister Clean: Separated at birth?
McBorg'ers: Over 1,000,000 assimilated.
Mister Worf, show these children the airlock. - Picard
Mr. Worf, fire at will. ** ZAP! ** Hey, where'd Riker go?
Strangely, Data finds himself relating to heavy metal.
The Borg assimilated my race & all I got was this T-shirt.
We have engaged the Borg. The wedding will be Friday.
Cry on someone else's shoulder, I'm off-duty. - Troi
A drunk Borg - Resistant as floor tile.
Honk if you've slept with Riker.
Yoda of Borg are we: Futile is resistance. Assimilate you, we will.
Defect borg: Refutile is sistance. Your ass will be simulated.
Original Pentium of Borg: Division is futile - your decimals will be approximated.
Captain, could I play some jazz? - Make it soul, No. 1
* <---- Tribble . <---TRIBBLE.ZIP
Ensign, fire at will - Ah, captain, I'd rather fire at Wesley!
"man, he's injured! ""Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor not a ... oh, ummm, yeah."""
He's DEAD, Jim. You grab his tricorder, I'll get his wallet.
"""He's BREAD, Jim."" - McCoy after a tragic transporter accident while visiting planet Pillsbury.
"""He's DEAD, Jim. Get his ears."" - Spock"
"""He's ALIVE, Jim. Where did I go wrong?"""
"""He's DEAD, Jim. Tell the Klingons that dinner is served"""
"""Scotty, beam us aboard"". ""Aye, sir. Will a 2x4 do?"""
"""Logic has nothing to do with it, it's just lust."" - Spock the pimp"
Scotty is smoking the dilithium crystals again, Jim
To HELL with the Prime Directive.... FIRE!!! - Kirk
"AAAAAGGGGHHHH"" - Any ""Classic"" Star Trek Security officer sometime during" the show.
"""Very funny Scotty, now beam me down my clothes..."" - Kirk"
Don't let Kirk show you what he affectionately calls the 'Captain's Log'
"Spock to Kirk at his annual review: ""I'm tired or wearing the same shirt and I can't afford a good haircut.""" Kirk: To heck with the Prime Directive, I want to sleep with that girl!
"""Captain, I cannot believe my ears!"" - Spock"
Captain Kirk, meet my father. He's Dad, Jim.
"""Bother,"" said Pooh, ""Eeyore, ready two photon torpedoes and lock phasers" on theHeffalump. Piglet, meet me in transporter room three. Christopher Robin, you have the"bridge."""